A problem that many of us has is holding on to things for too long. This goes for material things as well as relationships. We keep t-shirts that are ripped and sloppy because they remind us of days gone by. The same is true about relationships. We sometimes stay in relationships because they are familiar, but they no longer provide value to us.
People have embraced the concept of Marie Kondo to throw away things and to simplify their lives. Things are not the only items that should be Marie Kondo’d. Sometimes relationships also should be discarded if they no longer serve a positive function in your life.
A question that you may have to ask yourself is “how do you determine whether a relationship is positive?” The simple answer is make a list of pro’s and con’s. The problem there is that it is easy to skew your answers to reach a particular conclusion.
In my opinion, there are two question that say it all, namely, “Does the person that you are with make you feel like you are the most important person in the world?” and second, “Do you feel like your partner is the most important in the world?” If the answer to either of these questions is not an emphatic “yes,” then it may be time for Marie Kondo.
However, depending upon the amount of time in a relationship, you should seek counselling with your partner. If your partner does not want to go for counseling, it is time for spring cleaning. Without counselling, a broken relationship will just continue to get worse. If your partner does agree to see a counselor, I recommend that you put in the effort and try to make it work. A successful relationship is something to be proud of in this day and age where 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, and the rate is even higher for people who have previously been divorced. If after you and your partner put in the effort, the relationship still does not work, then part as friends, acknowledging what was, so that maybe each of you can find a new partner to love.
Love is not illusive. But sustained love requires work. Our bodies become used to each other, so the chemistry present in an early relationship fades over time. Work hard, play hard, love each other, and treat your partner the way you would want to be treated. Perhaps your parents loved you unconditionally. Good for you. Your partner is not going to give you that kind of love. However, a good partner will return your love in kind and perhaps even more.
Marie Kondo is not just about things. Declutter your relationships so that you can make room for new beginnings. It is never too late to be loved.